I’ve got a magpie on my shoulder,
Her squawks and sass growin’ bolder,
She’s oft gotten me into trouble.
Now she’s sayin’ leave on the double.
Let me think about it for a spell
So I pondered life outside the U of L.
One month, then two and three more went by.
Long enough for magpie to give me side eye.
She says “Surely you’re tired of climbing that hill.”
I’ll admit at the end of the day it gives me no thrill.
“You tried to get them to build a funicular,
“which would have benefited your knees in particular.”
She complained about the wind that howls outta the west.
Boy, did I get an earful; that’s no jest.
“I’m tired of grit in my eyes and feathers straining,
"There’s better ways to get my resistance training.”
Retirement’s coming on the horizon soon
Just one more UWeekly to get out before noon
Thanks to y’all for reading each issue
Now I need to grab a tissue!
The magpie’s still upon my shoulder,
Sayin’ I’m no poet — just gettin’ older.
I’ve half a mind to squawk right back,
"Shush now, quit talking smack."
Life ain't easy with a magpie in your ear,
But she's fun and means it all in good cheer.
Her teasing and taunting and pranks
Will surely tickle some folks in our ranks.
So keep some magpie in your bag of tricks,
Add lots of buffalo to the general mix.
ULethbridge is a great place in particular,
But it would be better with a funicular.
By Caroline Zentner
May 25, 2026